I don’t exactly have cyber phobia, but I’m not much of a technology person either, so I was skeptical when a friend first suggested I try online dating.

Before my wife passed away two years ago, the kids had all moved to different cities. Though they make time for me, it’s almost impossible to fill the vacuum left by the death of a constant companion whom you expected to spend your twilight years with. I had had a successful restaurant franchise which I sold off a few years ago and I do occasional work as a consultant. It was the loneliness, the lack of someone to talk to when I got home in the evenings, which really hit me hard.

Friends and neighbors were a great support. To encourage me to come out of my shell, they would often arrange blind dates or parties where I could meet new people. But it’s awkward for a man who has been married for so many years to suddenly find himself in the dating scene again. I felt too flustered to connect with anyone.

This was when a friend suggested I register on an online Christian dating site. He argued that the anonymity and the facelessness would help me overcome any initial shyness and then I need only follow up and meet someone if I really felt any further interest after a few conversations. I went into the whole thing feeling a bit doubtful.

At first, it seemed very easy. You just signed on, searched for people with similar interests and then initiated a conversation. I have to admit I had several very enjoyable evenings in my living room chatting online with perfect strangers.

There were several interesting women but the one that really caught my attention was Jenna. She was in my area and hadn’t put up her picture but she described herself as a divorced redhead in her fifties who really enjoyed hiking and teaching. She was a very good conversationalist and full of a certain joie de vivre. I found myself really looking forward to our chats and it wasn’t long before I became bold enough to suggest meeting for coffee at a popular cafe.

I hadn’t put my picture up on the net either but told her to watch out for “a tall grey-haired man with a red scarf”.

On the appointed day, I was there well ahead of time, sitting at one of the tables, feeling the undercurrent of excitement growing with every passing minute. Finally someone stopped at my table and inquired in a nasal twang “Jerry Meyers?”

I looked up to see a woman dressed in an incongruous black outfit about two sizes too small for her and that seemed in imminent danger of bursting at any minute.  She was a redhead alright, but the colour had come out of a bottle rather than endowed by nature. Her face was liberally plastered with make-up and her skin had a stretched unmistakeably post-facelift appearance. Maybe I’m benchmarking too much against my wife Mary who was simple and refreshingly low-key in her attire. But I think I speak for most men when I say I like a woman who is confident in her natural beauty and doesn’t feel the need to empty the entire contents of her makeup box on herself.

I still don’t know how I made it through that evening without letting my disappointment show too obviously on my face. I have to hand it to Jenna, she had not actually lied to me online but I suppose there was the inevitable desire to showcase only the best side of oneself. My first impression turned me off because it didn’t sync with the image I had in my head of her. I also couldn’t concentrate on what she was saying because I was struggling to breathe against the pungent assaults of her liberally-applied perfume!

It took a lot of tact to put an end to the disastrous evening and so ended my first experience from online dating!

I haven’t lost my faith in it though. In fact, strangely you could say what happened has made me bolder and opened me up a lot. I still frequent the chat rooms and I have made a few more friends online. I haven’t stopped looking and who knows, maybe my next date will be the right one!